Math, Me, Mixer

As a fourth grader I became the 'Math Captain." I was so proud of this title. The math captain got a little wood sign to stick on their desk and they were responsible for having everyone in their team bring homework to class. Then the proud math captain would teach the students who got problems wrong what they did wrong.

I had forgotten all about this proud moment in my life untill I ran into Mr. Wilson, my 6th grade math teacher, at Wal-mart a few weeks ago. He knew me by name, which was very impressive, and asked what I was majoring in.

"Something in Math?" he asked.

I guffawed at the thought and then realized he was serious. "Uh... no. You obviously don't remember me very well. I'm not a math person."

"That's not true. I do remember you in class and you were one of the top ones in Math."

Again, this was something I didn't remember at all. Had there been a time when I was actually good at math? Everyone I know knows I struggle with math. I creep away from it. In fact, I had this conversation with my father last week:

Me: "I got a 100% on my quiz today!"

Dad: "Well it obviously wasn't a math quiz."

See? Everyone knows. But now as I look back I realize it wasn't until my last year of Math that I struggled. Even at that time I was placed into advanced placement. This is where Henry Ford's quote comes in, "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't- you're right."

In my final math class of high school I worked as hard as I could and still ended up with a C. I was so disappointed in myself, and obviously math doesn't come as easily to me as it does for others. However, since then I have always said I am bad at math and I let others know it as well so that they tell me I am bad at Math. The more I hear it, the more I believe it. I think now I struggle with math because I am too insecure to try. I am confident I will be wrong, and so I am. Like Ford suggested, I think I can't, and for now, I am right.