Today it happened

A few weeks ago this happened.

And I've since been anticipating its coming. Today it did.

The school homesickness.

I love school. 

The past few days I have been still pretending to be a college student. It's all been very fun. This mostly means I have gone to the first day of classes with Luke for the first two days, and done other normal college life activities like devo and yoga and hanging out in the library. In that sense I haven't missed out too much on the social part of it.

But today I was walking through the tutoring center when finally it hit me.

Students were teaching each other different aspects of all different topics and I had to laugh at myself because I realized I really missed homework. And classes. And even though I'm excited for my future and I know there are good things to come, a part of me wished I was a freshman starting it all over again. College was such a ride. It is the one time in my life when I never wanted to be doing anything else other than what I was doing. 

But! This post is going to be dedicated to some fun things that happened in my final semester at BYU-I. In lovely picture form.

#1. Having auto class with Daylyn. We were both so excited for this class. It would have ended up being a great disappointment of a class except we were in it together which meant a guaranteed hour of giggling with Daylyn. And taking sneaky pictures of her in class. She took sneaky pictures of my occasional naps in class.

#2. This awesome group I worked with to try to earn $200 dollars of grant money for a Non-profit organization. They became dear friends, and it was something that started out as a school assignment, but has ended up being one of the rich experiences of my education. We won the grant money and this picture is us giving Anne of The Haven (a very cool homeless shelter in IF) the check. It was a great day. 

#3. My cutie roommates. I left Royal Crest and my best friends to move in with 4 girls I had only met once, because it felt right. It was a wonderful decision. These girls had huge hearts and they taught me a lot. Also I will miss the wonderful tininess of Amber. Here we are comparing hand sizes.

#4. Adventures with Daylyn. It's amazing that in only a year she has become one of my best friends, but some people are just that way. This semester we didn't get to room together so we made sure to have some adventures together including this cross country day in Yellowstone. 

#5. And I don't have much to say about this picture except that it just makes me happy. Graduation day was a really good day full of friends and family. BYU-I I love you!

A fox of Halloween past

The closer I get to graduation, the more I have started thinking about the choices I've made in college that have been life changing. Moving out last January to live with these girls was one of those. I don't live with them any longer, but they are still some of my best friends. So last Friday, when many of my friends had a party at my family ranch, it went down as my favorite Halloween in a long time. There was also the surprise of about 30-40 more people there than expected. The night consisted of a giant pot of taco soup, Daylyn repainting her missing tooth about five times, one weird weird game of Dare, a man dressed as a tooth fairy, two attempts by my cousins of cutting the power out, one VERY broken leg, a game of murder in the dark that didn't work very well (60 people is way too many), and the telling of not-very-scary scary stories.

Ope, I just threw this picture of our cute Jack-o-lantern cheese sandwiches I made with the cute Lake babies because... aren't they cute?

Then I got punched in the face... and other fun events

It's faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll.

One of the best times of the year! Definitely in my top four favorite seasons. Actually one of my top three, because winter can easily be booted down to #4.

This was a perfect weekend. One of those kind you never want to end. Homework was light, I only had to work a minimal amount and the weather was incredible! So on Saturday Amber, my cute roommate, and I went to Jackson Hole. Just the two of us. Packed a little lunch, and went on this beautiful little pathway that winds through the Jackson neighborhoods. A romantic little date together.

Friday slammed into me with a, "Get me outdoors! Right now!" mentality. So Luke took me and his roommates fishing. This resulted in no caught fish, but in accidentally loosing the top half of Luke's fishing pole in the river, which could only be retrieved by him later stripping down and taking a very, very cold little naked swim. Meanwhile, I enjoyed warming up the car far away from the river.  Henry's fork was beautiful, and was just right for helping my outdoor craving.

And as a final highlight of the weekend: I can now cross off the bucket list item of being full on punched in the face! I'm not sure why this has been on that list. But it sat close to the bucket list item of slapping someone across the face. (Most of my other items are much less violently inclined.) 

We were playing water basketball and it got pretty aggressive. 

Examples: at one point I heard this kind of ripping sound and felt something underneath my fingernails. Then I realized with horror that it was this boy's skin and I had ripped two long claw marks down his back! Fortunately, he thought the gouge marks were really cool for some reason...

He later accidentally got his revenge by winding up to stop the ball, but instead of making contact with the ball, his fist found my eyeball socket. There was a loud bam! of bone hitting bone that exploded in my head. It was a teeth rattling hit. As in my teeth actually rattled. It was strange. And to be honest, I'm very surprised/a bit disappointed that no black eye appeared. This below is all I have to show for it. Three cheers for friendly aggression!

Let's build a fire in a cabin

The plan was to hike Table Rock, but when I woke up at 5 in the stinkin morning to leave for it, there was a lot of water falling from the sky, so the hike was called off. 

So we spent the weekend (or Saturday) at a warming cabin in lovely Targhee Forest, roasting hot dogs on the stove, throwing pine cones at each other, destroying one MASSIVE fungus (think soccer ball size, full of something that looked a lot like yellow curry), and watching Jeremiah Johnson on a laptop. That is one strange movie. SPOILER ALERT: It has no plot.

Home again Home again Jiggidy Jig

Let's add southern Artic to one of my stops I made on this summer adventure, thanks to the poor soul who had a heart attack on the flight and we had to make an emergency landing in Northern Canada. I'm not sure why emergency landing here was of any benefit to this poor soul as this picture below is what it looked like for miles:

Thank you Google Earth for this good visual. And let's all pray for that individual who planned on making it to Seattle and had to be dropped off here :( It was so small that as we were about to take off again, the pilot got on and mentioned, "We've never taken off from a runway this small before, so..." ( I don't remember what came after the so, as everyone suddenly started concerned conversations.) Adventure's out there!

So! Now I'm home. It's so nice.

I have now seen a little chunk of the world, beautiful places full of great people, but yet I am always surprised how wonderful it always is to come home to this place.

Goodbye March, you were good to me

There are two things you should know about spring in Rexburg: snow is almost guaranteed to dash your beautiful sun tanning dreams and it's the time of season for happiness walks.

Everything about spring is full of excitement and hope but one of my favorite aspects is taking a walk all alone around 6:30 in the evening. One month earlier the sun would have long been down but now is only just starting to hit golden hour. Often those walks fill me with deep, quiet happiness.

This week I had a few happiness walks.  It was the perfect way to end my March. March has been an amazingly happy month for me. I turned 24. I'm not in the place in my life that I suppose I expected to be at 24, but I don't care. I feel deeply satisfied with my life the past 4 months and March has only helped remind me of what seems to be this blogs motto: life is happy & there are good things to come!

The writing ache

Today I have my writing ache.

Do you know what I mean?
I don't know how to describe it. It's that feeling when there is too strong of an emotion to express verbally. Too strong even to really understand.

Right now it feels too strong to even be around people. Writing is often kind of a sacred time for me when it's motivated by the writing ache.

It's usually through writing that I learn about myself.
It's usually through writing that I remember just how beautiful the world is.

I feel grateful for spring.
Happy to be in Rexburg.
In love with the friends I've made.
Amazed at modern medicine.
Humbled by people's sacrifices.
Hopeful for my future.
Frightened to move on.
Anxious to see what job lies ahead.
Excited to keep learning.
Proud of myself for loving dating.
Thankful for great guys who have been interested.
Glad to know I can be interested back.
Ecstatic to have my sister move here.
Sad for little losses.
Healing over larger losses.
Worried about struggling friends.
Trusting that it will all work out in the end.

Some posts are just written for the sake of posting.
Other posts are written just for the sake of my soul. I think that's what the writing ache is all about.

So there are these girls...

This post has been in the works for about a month and a half now, just hanging out in my drafts folder, because I don't really know how to do justice to how CRAZY. AWESOME. my roommates are.

January was the most healing time yet. In fact, it was the most fun January I have had in a long time.

Usually I feel like it kind of drags on, but this is one of those few times in life when I never want days to end, because that means it draws closer to the end of the semester and some of these girls leaving. They are just that great.

See? Here we are taking awkward family photos...

Remember how last semester I didn't really have too many friends? I felt like I should move out, but really had no one to move out with. My neighbor Claudia said her niece Taryn was a returned missionary and really nice and maybe I would like to live with her. I met Taryn and Kelli for two minutes one Sunday and this was close to the conversation we had:
Me: Oh! You're Taryn? Hey, do you have room in your apartment next semester. I need friends and I heard you guys are great. (This is almost pretty much word for word. I'm so eloquent...)
Taryn: Sure... We aren't very exciting but you can live with us if you want.
Me: Awesome. Where are you from?
Her: St. George.
Me: Cool.

Seriously, that was pretty much the conversation. Then I requested them as roommates. And despite the weird way that we became roommates, it's been the best! I'm kind of obsessed with all of them. I prayed them to me. And by some amazing, unexplainable blessing all of us are single, which always makes apartments more fun!

It's one of those semesters when I am almost always constantly in awe of how nice these girl are. Oh, that doesn't sound familiar? Not everybody gets roommates like that? I know, it is kind of a miracle. I'm the luckiest.

I could gush on for a while about these girls, but I'll refrain and just say getting sweet texts, coming home to having ALL the clean check jobs done, having cute notes on my bed, obliging me some nights when I want us to all hold hands when we pray, having a roommate that constantly says "I made __________ if you want to eat it!", having someone clean up the massive, disgusting mess from the chocolate fountain from the night before while I was at work, listening to me when I just want to ramble, sneaking creepy mannequin heads into my bed and just asking "How was work!?" when I come home everyday is amazingly nice.

So here's to another two months of greatness!

I've included some more fantastic pictures for you for your viewing pleasure.

Stephanie

Ruth or Ruthio as I call her

Kelli but I prefer Kelli Welli

Daylyn

Taryn 

Me in all my glory

Well I'm a working woman

I have a new job. Can you guess what it is?

Okay so I don't get to wear this amazingness everyday. It was a one time event when I went to tour the factory where they make fresh potatoes into dehydrated potatoes - pretty amazing. In fact, that's what I spend my week doing: thinking about potatoes! And how to promote them. I am the marketing and sales intern for Idahoan Foods. 

It's hard to explain my job, because I do a little bit of a lot, but I do spend a lot of time on their social media. Let me tell you something about this job: It's the job there was no reason I should have been given.

Seriously. I bombed this interview. 

Like, had - massively - bad - errors - on - my - resume bombed.

They already had a candidate picked out when I interviewed - I interviewed last and when they called to tell me I got the internship (which amazingly pays better than I've ever been paid before) I just responded, "What? Really?" 

Ironically, my other job I'm working: Downeast Basics, I shouldn't have been able to get either. They lost my resume and called my number by accident to set up the interview.  

So that's my life now: 47 hours a week at my miracle jobs. It's been great!

Amberlee & the terrible horrible no good very bad day

Have you read that book?
It's cute.
Well January 10 has historically been my "bad day."  As a brief synopsis of previous January 10 events includes:
- Breaking up
- Breaking up: the same day exactly one year later
- A woman trying to hit me with her car on my mission & just a very very long day of tracting
- A very bad job interview
- Just being sad in general.

SO yesterday morning, I forgot it was January 10. This is how my day went from two different perspectives:

1. My alarm didn't wake up, so I was running twenty minutes behind getting to my job in Idaho Falls on time. I ran outside to my car and when I went to leave... it was stuck. There was no one in sight and most college students are still asleep at 7:30, so I decided to push it out on my own. Realizing this could potentially be a stupid idea, but seeing no other option, I put my car in drive while I went to the back to push it. After five minutes of shoving it came out!.... Very fast! I ran towards the open door, slipped, fell face first into a very icy puddle drenching me head to toe in muddy ice water and looked up to see my car slamming into the cement barrier that divides my parking lot from the Bunkhouse parking lot. 

Yike.  

I arrived to work five minutes late, wet and remembering that the heater has been broken and it's been freezing in our office.  

 Sometime on the drive over, I realized it was January 10. And I was suddenly filled with a huge desire to make this January 10 not a bad day, so I looked over what had just happened and I think this is a much better story:

 2. I got home from work the night before at 10 at night and there was a pull through parking spot. Even though I wanted to park on the closer side to my apartment I had a little thought that I should park in the pull through spot. So I did. The next morning, My alarm didn't wake me up, but I made my lunch the night before and I was able to get ready much faster than normal. 

When I decided to push it out my own car, I prayed that I would be able to - because my muscles are less than impressive. And I did! Cheers!

As I watched my car smash into the cement barrier, I realized there was probably enough snow to cushion it and sure enough, as I checked it out, dripping in water, it was okay. It also wasn't stuck at all in the snow bank so I could just leave. Had I not parked in the pull through spot, I would have been pushing my car out in the direction of other cars and it most likely would have smashed into another car. 

The forty minute commute allowed me to pull off my socks and shove them in the heater so that hopefully it would dry them off. Along with my office being much warmer than normal, my boss, Adam, was nice and was very understanding. It was also casual Friday, so the clothes I was wearing were okay getting dirty.

Isn't that nice? It totally ended up being an awesome opportunity to see that it could be better than otherwise. After work I was feeling sad and decided to stop by the Idaho Falls Temple Visitor Center. It was amazing. I have been wanting to go there since I got home from my mission, but this was just the perfect timing. It brought me so much peace and I talked to the missionaries for a long time and just thought about how much I have to be grateful for.

Moving

This is my room. It has also been my kind of sanctuary the past four months.

Today I am moving on campus. I won't be the "local" anymore. Although I'm really excited for the experience, I'm surprised at how sad and scared I am. It's been 3 and a half years since I lived on campus/lived with five other girls.

That was never the plan.

When I originally moved back home, it was only going to be for one semester, because my cousin wanted me to live with her and my parents. Then one semester turned into two when I decided to save money to go on a mission and that turned into another 18 months as I left on my mission, another 7 months after I took a job at Deseret News, another semester as I decided to save money because I was engaged and another semester - this past semester - as plans changed and I just really needed my mom and dad. 

I love this little corner room with it's many windows. It represents a lot of me: traveling, too many clothes because I can't get rid of anything, a lot of books because I accumulate them, empty picture frames that are still waiting to be filled after taking out Stephen's pictures, cute niece & family pictures, DIY projects that almost turned out cute but not quite...

I'm only moving about a mile away and I've lived much further away from home before, so I'm not sure what makes this move any different, except that when I moved back home I was a very different person than I am now that I'm moving out.