The thing about getting older is, you realize why you like
the people you like. Perhaps you become more particular? You start
understanding the importance of surrounding yourself with people who inspire
you – people who you want to be like.
As you get older, your ability to form deeper relationships
grows. You feel so fulfilled with these incredible people you get to associate
with.
And then… they’re gone.
I mean, they don’t die and you don’t stop being friends, but
life happens. They have to move on,
move up, move forward. You do too, but it doesn’t usually take you in the same
way.
I have gone through many phases of this with my friends.
Sometimes it’s a new job that claims them. Sometimes, a move, or parenting, or
life just gets busy. But nothing claims them as much as marriage.
This year, I will go through the deepest phase of this. My
closest friends are moving on. It’s this bizarre-o mix of being deeply happy
for them, and thrilled to have seen this miracle unroll, but silently mourning
the loss your friendship has to take.
You’ll still be friends. You can still talk and hang out
(after they re-surface in about a year), but never will the relationship be the
same. It’s appropriate their loyalties shift, but it’s a little painful to
think about what you once had that no longer is the same.
So all of these bed sharings, and quick drop bys? I’ll soak
them in while I can. And then I’ll trust that I’ll enter into another good
phase.
